I was 16 when I first realized how much I loved my friend. That was a problem, as my friend was a guy and I was not exactly female either. But still, I felt the attraction to him that would soon turn into love. Neither of us was gay.
And who wouldn't fall in love with him? He was gorgeous from head to toe, and even more undressed. I knew this because I had gotten the pleasure of seeing him completely nude. He had some muscles, and the perfect weight. He had beautiful bleach blond hair that he spiked up. His eyes reminded me of milk chocolate and he had a lip ring. Even his name, which was Andrew, was attractive.
My attraction to him started in the middle of January when it was extremely cold. My family wasn't exactly the richest people in the world, and because they had failed to pay the gas bill, we were without heat. I was huddled up in a pile of blankets, trying hard concentrate on my homework while keeping warm. I was failing miserably.
Andrew came over that day and my mom answered the door, letting him in my room.
"Hey man. You look cold." He joked, sitting down next to me. "Need help? Cause I want you to hurry so we can play some games."
I smiled. "Fuck yes I need help. This doesn't make any sense." I shivered. Andrew noticed.
"Shit, David you're shivering," He said, grabbing one end of the pile of blankets, and crawling under with me. I stared at him as if he were a retard.
"What the hell?!" He put his arms around me.
"Relax; I'm not going to rape you or anything. I'm just trying to keep you warm," He made the whole situation seem less gay. I did relax and within minutes, his body heat warmed me up to the point I could concentrate.
Thirty minutes later, I had passed out in the warmth of his arms. I woke up within an hour, embarrassed that I had passed out in another male's arms. He didn't mind, and actually had taken an interest of reading through my text book as I slept.
"Dude, you snore," That was the first comment that he said and I laughed. "Did you at least have a good nap?" I nodded.
We spent the rest of the day playing games and I failed my homework. Still, the day was monumental because I never looked at Andrew the same way again.
I was 17 when I confessed my feelings for him. I still remember that day as the day I broke down crying like a girl. I remember the conversation clearly. He had told me that he was dating yet another girl, and I, an extremely jealous type, finally blew my top.
"So you're dating Sarah? I don't see what's so great about her, she's a whore," The last part slipped through my mouth. She truly was a whore. Once one of her boyfriends had lost his appeal, she would dump him and move on to the next in less than a day.
"Take that back! You ALWAYS do this! You always try to fuck up my relationships! You're nothing but a jealous bastard that I get the girls and YOU don't!!!!" He shoved me down. "Take it back right now before fuck up that ugly god damn face of yours!"
That is when I broke into sobs. I knew I wasn't as pretty as Andrew and never would be. I had been told that I was unattractive many times before, but because of my feelings for Andrew, it seemed to hurt even worse.
David? Are you ok?" The angry tone was gone from his voice as he got up, holding his hand out to help me up. I refused to take it.
"No you god damn jack ass!" I got up, still crying like a baby. "I can't believe you! I can't believe I love you!" I screamed at him, in so much pain emotionally that I was having trouble standing.
"What the hell David?! I'm not GAY! And neither are you!" He yelled at me. I couldn't help it, and cried harder. He stopped yelling at me and led me to my bed, helping me sit down. "David, I'm sorry I yelled
I didn't mean to lose my cool, it's just
I'm not gay
"I know, I know
That's why I didn't tell you
" I tried to stifle my sobs. Andrew's arms were around me. He was hugging me, and it confused me. Andrew wasn't gay, yet he was comforting me after I had just confessed feelings for him.
"David, I'm sorry. I have to let you know right now that there will never be anything between you and I. Nothing," He said as gently as he could get. Still, I cried as hard as I could though I tried not to. For the second time in my life, I passed out in his arms. He didn't wake me, and left my house.
I woke up in my bed, completely alone. I cried more until I passed out again. I liked it when I passed out because things hurt less.
I am 20 now. I still love Andrew and in the past three years, we have gone through so much together. He got married at 18 and had a child. Two months ago, he got a divorce and gained custody of his daughter.
They now live with me and his beautiful baby girl has started calling me mom. I've never been so happy in all of my life because Andrew and I are together at last. He seems happy as well and in fact, we just had a conversation on the subject. It went a little like this.
"You happy with me? I mean, I know I'm ugly," I had said. He bopped me over the head.
"David, you're such an idiot. Of course I'm happy with you, not because of your looks, but because of how supportive you've always been to me. You took me and Lindsey in after my divorce. You are always there for me to give me a shoulder to cry on or watch Lindsey. You've become the mother to my child even though you're a guy. You've never done anything to hurt me," He had whispered in my ear before giving it a soft kiss. I was fighting tears again.
"God damn how did I get so lucky?" I had muttered.
"It's not luck. It's love." His words spoke for themselves, and I knew that I was loved by him at last.